HAPPY A MONTH.5 ANNIVERSARY TO MOI!!

Happy month.5 anniversary to MEEEE

So it’s been more than a month since I officially moved back, I must tell you it does not feel this long, it actually feels like I moved back like maybe 2 weeks ago. Anyways what have I learned and what has changed, besides getting “tanner” because of this ferocious sun and Heat, below are a couple of other lessons.

1 Being Nice and Polite DOES NOT get the job done, sometimes a shy, quiet, introvert like myself has to SCREAM, HISS, and DEMAND that things get done the way I want them to be done. I remember the first day at work, I smiled so damn much that I actually got yelled at by this lady because she thought I was being quite patrionizing. Now I frown like I heard u call my mama names and greet people….I seem to be fittin in quite well.

2 No matter how classy the venue is, there is nothing like a “QUEUE”. I learned this the hard way my first of work when I stood in line for wat felt like 3 hours while mofos kept cutting in left and right, I was tooo intimidated to say anything so I kept waiting my turn, which never came, and the egg rolls ran out, so I embarrsingly crossed to the bakery side and ordered 2 croissant for lunch, I was soo hungry and pissed that day. So now what I do is I have my game face on, don’t mind that I am cutely dressed and clutching my nice LV purse with my stunner shades, when that door opens for the late comers at church, I am “elbowing” and stepping over
“toddlers” to get a seat, or shoving my carts against people to collect “ Sugar Bread” at shoprite.


3 Every Occasion is a DRESSING competition, ladies u know what I am talking about. I never get out of bed not lookin like I have $10,000 dollars. These HEFAs don’t play!!

4Even grandpa’s will hit on you so always wear your “If you look my way, I’ll eff u up FACE” always, all day, everyday.

5Never pretend you’re a foreigner and you don’t know, some people will jump at the chance to dupe u always act like u know. ALWAYS.

6The traffic in Lagos is well…wats the synonym for “more than terrible” so be prepared, if you going to work, take a shower the night before, jump into the car with your P.Js and cereal, by the time u get to work u would have dressed up, done ur makeup, curled ur hair, and eaten brkfast or done whatever takes 4 hrs to do.

7Learn to be HUMBLE, it does not matter that u flew 15 hours to get to the country, that you were an executive director at a prominent bank or that the pope is on ur Fav-Five, people here tend to have power trips so try to afford statin statements with “Do you know who I am” because chances are that most people don’t care, u know ur important to don’t stoop to other people’s insecurities. Also learn to never internalize other people’s negativities, don’t let ignorant people steal your joy (which will happen more times than you like), not only is this good for the aura of your day, it is good for your heart.

8Don’t try to play mother Theresa and save all the beggars on the street, (actually you can but giving them money is not an efficient way) because everytime you give one money, 30 million others jump out of nowhere.

9If you want to be frustrated, pissed, depressed, upset, then read the “uncensored” newspapers, with articles written by foolish anti-nigerian journalist, who claim to be saying “THE TRUTH”.


10But most importantly, NEVER EVER EVER have America or England or any other western country in Mind, you are IN NIGERIA, this is a different country the sooner you learn to stop comparing and contrasting, the easier it will be to settle in, however this is not mean perpetuating the negative stereotype of the country, it simply means learning that a majority of the people live in poverty…Mental Poverty, and rather than bitch, accept each obstacle as a character building lesson, because even though I’ve only been here for a month.5, I feel like I’ve learned a lot not only about myself, but about human nature in general. We are still a developing nation, and it will take developed minds to get us where we need to be.